How I Drink Beer

And how you maybe shouldn’t

“The first sip of beer is the best.” What a crock of crap! Whoever said that for the first time couldn’t have been more wrong. They were close, though… See, it’s the 2nd sip that’s the best, I think.

Don’t get too caught up in the details here – allow me to explain. Obviously, it all depends on the beer of choice. Most are harmless and in all honesty they’re sweet, watery, corn-flavored…beer… On the other hand, if you’ve selected a super-stinky, ultra-dank Imperial IPA, you’re most likely not going to enjoy that first sip. BUT! That first sip does two very important things.

Firstly: it primes the mouth with the flavor that’s to come. Whether it’s a citrusy brew or a mega-dark stout – my palate likes to know what’s coming up.

Second (and maybe more importantly): it gets them salivary glands salivating. This is the primer that tells my brain we’re in for a good time.

All of this is to say that I don’t know nothing about anything and will completely contradict my own argument at the sake of certain beers like pilsners or really anything that’s bright and golden. So, really, grain of salt everything. Especially when I’m saying it.

Memories and beer

I have a lot of fond memories around beer. Most of them are as of late and involve my fiancé, Jenna. She’s the reason I like beer as much as I do anyway. Some of them, though are deep-rooted from my early childhood. Fewer things spark up as a memory quite like smell does for me. There’s nothing quite like the smell of a zillion emptied Old Milwaukee cans basking in the sun on a hot summer day in the late 90s. Anytime I catch a whiff of something even remotely similar, I’m instantly transported back in time to my grandpa’s old Geo tracker - headed down to the river to go fishing with him and my brother. I must have had my first sip of that terrible beer when I was nine or ten - and thank God that’s the last time I’ve ever had it.

I remember when I was a kid, my dad used to only drink Icehouse. If you’re not familiar, it’s just another cheap American beer. It’s an iced beer, but you wouldn’t know or care if I didn’t tell you. All that’s to say that I didn’t come from a rich background in craft beer or anyone in my family even caring about beer. I remember my grandpa yelling out to him, “Getchya ‘nother icy hot there Wayne!” He didn’t care what they were called, and he didn’t care what they were drinking – but he enjoyed sitting on a lawn chair, listening to old country music, drinking beer and talking trash. That’s what had a lasting impact on how I drink beer today.

Like anyone, not all the memories I keep locked away are rainbows and sunshine. I’ve had my fair share of youthful partying and enjoying the night just a little too much. Besides drinking what seems like 150 Bud Lights in one night and praying to the almighty porcelain gods, a very particular memory of tasting my first black and tan beer sticks out in my memories of bad times. I must have barely been 21 at the time and a friend of mine introduced me to this big feller that liked different beers. It was this first hangout that I tried, what I believe to this day, to be the nastiest beer. It was a black and tan by Yuengling. No offense Yuengling. Thinking back about that time more objectively, it doesn’t help that the beer was room temp and I had zero clue what a black and tan was. Maybe one day I’ll revisit that fateful brew. Today’s not that day, though.

How to drink beer

Remember, grain of salt, there is no “right” way to enjoy a beer. I will say, for me, it shares a TON of similarities to cracking open a bottle of wine. The first sense that people use when drinking beer is their eyes. No different than food, people drink and eat with their eyes first. When you get a fresh glass of hazy IPA in a tulip glass that catches the light perfectly, it gets you excited! The next thing you want to do is give that bad boy a sniff or seven. Unlike wine, your beer is going to be filled to the tippity-top – so be careful. Breathe it in. Take in how the different hops swirl and aerate with the carbonation. Next is the crucial first sip – like I said earlier this is probably going to be not the best. Good news, the rest of the glass is pure money. Unless you don’t like the beer. In that case, give it to your friend and get a different beer.

It’s not lost on me how that last paragraph sounds a bit pretentious, but it’s honestly how I drink every craft beer on draft. The key word there is craft. My methodology doesn’t apply to a Michelob Ultra. That’s the point-and-shoot of beers. Just grab that glass and get-to-getting. Bottles and cans steps into a strange area for me. Some beer is better in the vessel, some you need to give a gentle mix to the can first, some you only want to pour in a glass. My research on weissbiers taught me that in the bottom of their bottles holds some of the settled yeast from the brewing process. When you’re pouring that beer into a glass, be mindful of that yeast because it can cause your beer to become hazy. Personally, I’m into that. Some weissbier purists like to save that last yeasty sip directly.

No matter your preference between on-tap or bottles/cans, it’s important to enjoy yourself. Always remember to have a good time and share the beers with all around! Every time you open a bottle, you’re drinking a part of history. Whether we like it or not, we’re all historians - beer historians.