“A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal” - Unknown
I’ve heard it said that a marriage is unconditional love - and I believe that whole-heartedly. But if my wife killed my dog, I might have to have a tough internal dialog on how unconditional that love really is…
I got back from a wedding recently, and at the time of writing this I’m getting married in 16 days. But more on that in a little bit. Both my fiancé Jenna and I were in the respective wedding parties. To be honest, I was very surprised (and honored) that the groom asked me to be a groomsman because I am what you call a “new friend.” Jenna grew up with him and they’ve been friends most of their lives, but I didn’t meet him until I started dating Jenna.
In the days leading up to the wedding we were both a buzz of excitement - both for present and the future. I thought that I had a decent grasp on what the weekend would look like and how everything would shake out. Like usual, I couldn’t have been more wrong…
It all started with I-81. A 40-minute hold-up all for nothing. Emotional bank drain. In all fairness, I think there was a wreck that was cleared up, but damn. Let’s get it moving, people! Anyway, that made us pressed for time and we had to scurry right to the venue for the rehearsal. That was great and the emotional bank went up considerably! That evening at dinner there was a medical emergency and the emotional bank drained a ton. But the bride and groom rallied and decided the night must go on. I don’t understand where they find the fortitude to keep going the way they do, but I admire it. Spirits turned around, songs were sung, cigars were smoked, and WAY too many drinks were drank. By the time 3 a.m. came around, the emotional bank was full.
Day 2: The reckoning. Jenna being a bridesmaid had wedding obligations that didn’t align with my goal: sleeping. She was up at 7:45 a.m. and that meant so was I. Still drunk from the night before and feeling less than ideal. By 8:30, the boys were up and we decided to get some coffee. The town we were in wasn’t known as a hub of commerce, so the options were limited. We found a gas station that was selling the jet fuel equivalent of coffee - and that scared the shit out of me. I decided it was in my best interest to avoid that poison and stick with a canned coffee drink and an energy drink. This was my folly. I rapidly went from bad to worse and my world became a cacophony of splitting headaches and spins that would rival the world’s best rollercoasters. I tried to nap away the headache, but the caffeine betrayed me. My guts were next. I was a zombie until about 2 p.m. The emotional bank was deep in the negative.
But much like the mighty phoenix, I too rose from the ashes of the worst hangover ever dreamt up. I rallied. Maybe only at half-capacity, but alive nevertheless. Suited up I made my way through the ceremony. To my credit, I didn’t miss a single queue that we rehearsed. Impressive, I know. The emotional bank was starting to fill. Dances were danced, speeches were speech-ed, and again the drinks were being drank. By the end of the sprinkler send-off my bank runneth over with positive feelings. We even went to bed a little earlier so that we could hit the road nice and early.
No hiccups on I-81 on the way back down meant we were back home and ready to get back to real life. Jenna immediately got his with a case of the “depressies.” That’s when you go through something so fun and have to deal with the reality that the fun is over. I think that post-fun depression is common for a lot of people, and it hit Jenna hard. Mine hit me later in the week. The drastic ups and downs that I experienced through that weekend left me in a weird place.
It felt like the second we walked in the door we were smacked with a sudden realization of all the loose ends and missing pieces of our own wedding. It doesn’t take a lot for the stress to pile up. The smallest things, when stacked on top of each other, add up really quickly. Luckily we only had small squabbles about this document or that font. We got just about everything done this week!
Having a great partner like Jenna is a lifesaver. She keeps me in check and calls me on all my bs when I’m acting like a diva. She also tolerates me when I call her out too. There have been moments in this wedding planning process where I wasn’t sure if she’d want to marry me by the end of it. It was touch-and-go there for a minute, but we persevered. I’m beyond excited to make marry this woman. But let’s be honest here, I’m definitely getting the better deal in this marriage.
To Taylor and Conly:
Congratulations to both of you and I’m so honored to call you my friends. I’m excited to see you family grow. If you ever need someone to watch Winston, we’re here! We love you.
Loved the quote! and your post is so precious look forward to each one !